Email circular that I received today that posed some interesting questions:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we
know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when
they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are
four billion stars, but check when you say the paint
is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you
use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with hopes that something new to eat will have
materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times
with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it
up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end
you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our
ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing
so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't
all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid
idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
that's falling off the table you always manage to
knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as
it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing
it like your wife told you to do it?
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then
don't take up sky diving!
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every
four persons is suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends, if
they're okay, then it's you.
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2 comments:
Why? Because we're deluded monkeys.
I will attempt to answer these rhetorical questions in order...
For the same reason we speak more loudly to people of a foreign language
For the same reason there are locks on stores that are open for twenty four hours
It only sticks to the glass when it is in between said glass and the lid
It's the only humane thing to do
Because he never would have gotten Jane if he had one
It's easier to dodge a revolver
To protect against head injuries just in case...
Someone very cruel (probably the same person who developed the rest of this inane language)
Who says we evolved?
This is truly one of the great mysteries of the universe hopefully to be solved by the unified field theory, if there ever is one
Yes, when April 19th falls on a Thursday
For the same reason they flip thru the channels on the television in hopes that the insipid shows littering the airwaves will suddenly acquire substance
Because there is no satisfaction until that strings wraps around the agitator
You mean they open from the ends?
This is a place reserved for very special bugs. The living bugs place them there so they will be always remembered.
Because the other person may well have a firearm
Serendipity
For the same reason we want it 60 degrees in the summer
Because father in laws just aren't that funny (and they may whoop your butt)
Yea, right. Next you'll want us to ask for directions or read the instructions...
Ouch
We're way ahead of quota around here, so you may be OK.
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